Wild Zero: Rock 'n' Roll Fright School
By
Phil Davetas
7/14/2003 5:38:28 AM

Imagine they exhumed the bodies of Joey and Dee Dee Ramone reincarnated as a gun-toting supernatural Japanese vigilante punk band fighting zombies and for the freedom of rock ‘n’ roll and dubbed themselves ‘Guitar Wolf’. Now imagine Guitar Wolf trapped in a tall building full of limb-snacking zombies. He leaps out of a window as it bursts into a heaving blaze of pyro-jiz and yells, “Rock ‘n’ roll!” while strumming his guitar. Well, imagine no longer, you foolish monkeys. The rock ‘n’ roll jet movie is here and daring you to experience it. A flick with fucking balls.

After playing a sweat-drenched set of punk rock, Guitar Wolf find themselves in the club owner’s office telling them that rock is dead and so are they. Guns sprout about forcing everyone into a Mexican stand-off. And just before Guitar Wolf is about to buy it, a rabid fan by the name of Ace busts in screaming, “Rock ‘n’ roll will never die!” Blam, blamity, blam! Ace saves Guitar Wolf and he’s given a special one-way distress signal only Guitar Wolf can hear. Guitar Wolf speed off into the blackened highway of the night leaving tire streaks of flames. Ace whips out his mama’s fine tooth comb, slicks back his pompadour, hops on to his scooter like the 5-foot manly man he is and putters down the road. But then a mysterious meteor crashes close by turning people into a lumbering gang of flesh-eating zombies.

While the zombies start devouring innocent bystanders Ace finds some hot, young fox who turns out to be a dude. Ace freaks and runs off like a scared, little girl, but then the ghost of Guitar Wolf pops up in front of him yelling, “Ace! Love has no nationalities, borders or genders! Fight for the one you love!” With that, he combs back his hair and little Ace runs off screaming after his beloved before he/she gets eaten up. And it’s all uphill from there.

There aren’t many special features here, but what else do you need? You can always buy into the Guitar Wolf hype and get all their CDs. There’s some still galleries and some lame [practically stick figure drawings] if you’re into that.

Wild Zero (Uncut Version) (3 out of Four)
NR, 2000, 98 min., One World Entertainment.

Guitar Wolf, Drum Wolf, Bass Wolf, Masashi Endo, Makoto Inamiya, Masao Sato, Shiro Namiki, Kwancharu Shitichai, Naruka Nakajo, Yoshiyuki Morishita, Music by Guitar Wolf, Produced by Kaichiro Furata and Katswaki Takemoto, Written Satoshi Takagi and Directed by Tetsuro Takeuchi.

Special Features:

Still and Art Galleries, Trailers: Audition, DOA: Dead or Alive, Pornostar, Sonatine, Wild Zero: Rock ‘n’ Roll Jet Movie.

Far-out Flicks:

A Boy and His Dog, Six String Samurai, Freaked, Volcano High, The Frightners, Dead-Alive, Repo Man, That Darn Punk, Highway to Hell, Straight to Hell, 2002, A Chinese Ghost Story, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai: Across the 8th Dimension, The Toxic Avenger, Real Men, Dead Heat, Class of 1984, Class of 1999, Brazil, Time Bandits, The Horror of Party Beach, Psycho Beach Party, Innocent Blood…

 

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