Pack up the pink hearse, rehydrate the holy water, reload the silver bullet mags, check your hair and strap on that tight, tight leather outfit none of us can fit into but everyone else looks good in, and fight, fight, fight that evil into another oblivion.
On her wedding night Mallory chops up her husband with a big-ass ax after finding out that he’s a red-eyed, blood-sucking soldier of the undead.
Now, Mallory’s the leader of an elite commando squad dedicated to the eradication of ghoulish beasties that are taking over the world. This time she faces off with the evil Pope—that’s right The Pope—who’s plotting to release a gang of pissed off fallen angels into our dimension where they will chow down on some humans for an eternity… or something to that effect.
“Do you have to wear lipstick to be part of the team?”
Mallory’s crack squad is made up of an ass-kicking transvestite, Vena Cava, with a knack for blowing stuff up and machineguns sprouting out of her platform shoes. And of course there’s Talking Tina, a 12-year-old teleporting mute who can occupy several hosts by throwing her soul into people’s (and animal’s) bodies at will. Then there’s the young priest who looks more like a male stripper that could make Ricky Martin his bitch with the word “hello”. While the story is thin and the pacing a little slow for horror, Bloody Mallory makes it up with humor, incredible leaps of reality, and hyper-real color schemes that might have some people remembering Dario Argento’s Suspiria. The characters are well drawn out and have their funny lines and antics, while still maneuvering out of booby traps, evading demonic gimps, arms busting out of brick walls, black cats occupying the road and a paranormal arsenal sanctioned by the evil Pope.
As far as special features go, you can jump all over the Kenji Kawaï featurette as he rattles on about his experience coming up with a Japanese theme for a French body-chopping movie about the undead. There’s a behind-the-scenes for those that care, which include interviews with the actors and filmmakers. It’s a bit thin on special features unless you like the three trailers so much that you can watch them over and over and all over again. Beware, one trailer’s in Japanese.
Oh, by the way, the flick is bloody, bloody, bloody.
Bloody Mallory (3 ½ out of Four)
NR, 2002, 94 min., Distributor Pending
Starring: Olivia Bonamy, Adria Collado Papillon, Laurent Speilvogel, Julien Boisselier, Tylda Bares, Thierry-Perkins Lyautey, Olivier Hemon, Ludovic Berthillot, Valentina Vargas, Music by Kenji Kawaï, Produced by Oliver Delbosc, Eric Jehelmann and Marc Missonnier, Written by Julien Magnat and Stéphane Kazandjian and Directed by Julien Magnat.
Three trailers (one in Japanese), a featurette on Kenji Kawaï and a Behind the Scenes Featurette.
Fighting the Evil Forces of Whatever:
Hellboy, Bubba Ho-Tep, Van Helsing, Army of Darkness (Director’s Cut), Highway to Hell, Phantom Rider, Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat, Scooby-Doo, Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, Blade, Blade II, Blade III, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters II, Men In Black, Men In Black II, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Junk, Big Trouble In Little China, 2002 (Hong Kong), An American Werewolf in Paris, Kindred: The Embraced, Devil Hunter Yohko, John Carpenter’s Vampires, Vampires: Los Muertos…