Cucumbers, Paperclips, and eX-Girl
By
Vincent Francone
6/10/2002 10:12:31 PM

"...your race was artificially developed by frogs as an experiment to determine what, if any, kind of society could be formed by animals with runaway egos and overwhelming destructive urges."

[Editor's Note: Okay, I admit this is, --what? --the third piece we've done on eX-Girl in this website's young life. I admit that maybe our writer, Vince, might be just a wee bit obsessive about these girls from Kero Kero. But hey, www.nighttimes.com is all about breaking new bands and breaking the rules. If you don't like 'em, go read mtv.com.]

There is nothing in the world like eX-Girl. Maybe that's because they're not from this world. Sure, critics try to compare them to scores of other bands, but none of them are eX-Girl. None of them could be. Try as they might, very few bands could be so wonderful.

After listening to their marvelous new CD, Back to the Mono Kero! [Ipecac] about twenty times a day, seeing them live, and purchasing as much of their back catalogue as I could get my hands on (all of these activities are highly recommended), I decided to investigate what makes these girls tick. Fearing that a dry, stodgy interview would be the worst thing to ask of such a delightful and enjoyable band, I asked, via e-mail, seven odd, off the cuff questions. Here is what they had to say:

How do you view yourselves in relation to other Japanese bands?

We are not a Japanese band.

Tell us about the planet Kero Kero.

It's basically an elongated triangular pyramid. We three live at the respective corners, forming the smallest triangle and The Frog King's throne is at the pointiest apex. Its interlocking dodecahedral orbit is a result of being located in a constellation of 12 stars. The biggest one is black and is central to the constellation. It's a little like Earth but the flat places are bigger and flatter, and the pointy places are bigger and pointier. Also, as we have known for eons and as is just beginning to be seen by the physicists of Earth, what you call the cosmic constants are not constant and therefore are not the same on Kero Kero as they are here. In other words, the fundamental laws of physics are different out in our neck of the woods.

Please tell us about your interest in frogs.

Frogs are the predominant life form of the universe. They are here, too. The only reason that you don't know about it is that your race was artificially developed by frogs as an experiment to determine what, if any, kind of society could be formed by animals with runaway egos and overwhelming destructive urges. Actually that particular experiment ended about ten years ago, though I guess nobody ever got around to telling you where you came from.

Is the cucumber really the savior of all vegetables?

Absolutely.

What is your favorite invention?

The paper clip. It's so great for picking locks.

Please tell us a little bit about the history of the band.

Well, there is not much to tell and I am sure there are many other bands just like us. We have been friends for many thousands of years and have been the happy pets of the of the great wise kind frogs of Kero Kero. A few years ago The Frog King who, familiar with our music, decreed that we should take the Kero Warp to Earth to learn about the concept of a musical instrument and to bring the knowledge back to Kero Kero.

Aside from making music, what makes each of you very happy?

Tofu.

 

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